The trip to Ethiopia

We had smooth sailing (or flying) on the trip to Ethiopia. The trip included a 2 1/2 hour drive to Chicago, a 2 hour flight to D.C., then a 15 hour flight to Addis, with a touch down in Rome, plus all the waiting in between, about 28 hours total. In Dulles airport, we walked around, ate and saw many Ethiopians working and walking around in the airport. In a small shop, an Ethiopian woman asked us where Yabi was from. When we told her that he was Ethiopian, she grabbed him and hugged and kissed him while speaking to him in Amharic. Later as we were walking back to the terminal Yabi, with a hesitant smirk on his face, asked why that woman kissed him????

As was expected, within minutes of taking off on Ethiopia Air, we were served drinks and crackers followed by a full course meal. The kids were served first with the option of chicken or fish. Once the cabin lights were off, the kids slept fairly well. We had 3 middle seats across from two window seats. Yabi continued to sleep all spread out into the morning. He was nauseated and had the opportunity to use a handy dandy puke bag and ate very little the rest of the flight, passing up breakfast and then lunch.

The last 3 hours of the flight were the longest. Yabi was wide awake and surfing the backpack. We enjoyed playing musical chairs, shuffle songs, IPOD games, and playing/sitting with another little 4 year old Ethiopian boy, Yofta, who was adopted 2 years before and returning to Ethiopia with his family for a second

adoption. This was a very nice diversion.

The hardest part of the trip was waiting in line for our visa, gathering luggage, exchanging money, etc. Difficult not because of the process but because 3 kids were ready to be done traveling, and our 13 year old was the most difficult.

We were greeted by the Adoption Advocates International (AAI) driver and Saron (who had lived with us), then wisked off to the Ritmo Guesthouse where we unpacked and readied ourselves for bed.

IX - Supportive Community

We have been blessed with a very supportive and loving community which includes family and friends, both near and far. In Goshen, adoption is very common and there is a large support group for adoptive families. At our church, there are 6-7 families who have adopted children from various places. Yabi is not the only African child in our neighborhood. He has a little friend whose name is Alaina, who is from Kenya. She is nearly 2 and her parents attend our church and live around the corner.

For our family and friends we are thankful.

VIII - Life with a 2 year old

Life with a 2 ½ year old is very joyful but it has also been a big transition. I am very thankful to be on a one year leave from teaching. During the first semester, I took 3 classes at Indiana University South Bend. This semester I am taking one class but I spend most of my days hanging out with Yabi. I must say, I love all the floor time…playing with blocks, puzzles, animals, balls, etc…Reading books is also a favorite time passer. It is also fun hanging out with other mother’s who have young children. It takes me back to when Hannah was little!! Eric continues to work full time in our attic so even though he has plenty of work, he has lots of flexibility and during his break times and snack times (which are many), he interacts with Yabi. Yabi loves to sneak up to his office and usually encourages Eric to stop what he is doing and chase him down the stairs.

I feel very blessed and thankful for this time!! I have been able to let go of some outside responsibilities and concentrate on our new little one.

VII - Adoption Process

For me the adoption process has been quite an emotional journey. Adoption is not simply receiving a child who needs a home. For me it has provoked many thoughts about justice and injustice, poverty and wealth, and the basic human experience. In a perfect world, the best scenario would be for children, all around the world, to stay with their biological families and in the cultures they know while living in peace and with the resources they need to thrive. But…this is not a perfect world so we do the best we can to make a small difference in a child’s life. We ask for God’s presence as we continue on this journey.

VI - Brotherly Love

As Eric has already mentioned, Yabsira has a brother who has significant cognitive, language, and self-help needs. This piece of the puzzle has been very painful for us as we thought about separating the boys. When we accepted to adopt Yabsira, Eric and I also made a commitment to support Nahom and keep him part of Yabsira’s story.

Yesterday, Yabsira, my grandparents and I were looking at our trip pictures. It was the first time that Yabsira had seen all the orphanage pictures. When he came to the pictures of Nahom, he would point to him and called him “Kia”. There was one picture of Nahom that was a close up of his face. Yabi looked at the picture, kissed it, placed it on his chest for a few seconds and then passed the picture back to me.

A little latter, Yabi and I were playing with blocks on the floor in his room. As I watched him play, I became tearful as I contemplated Nahom and Yabsira’s relationship and how it has very suddenly changed. Yabi, not knowing what I was crying about, came over to me, wiped the tears that were rolling down my cheeks, and put his arms around my neck. Then he laid his head on my shoulder. When he put his head up, he was also crying with tears running down his cheeks. I am amazed at how perceptive little Yabi is. Maybe, his apparent ability to “feel” has aided him in his adjustment.

Our prayer is for wisdom as we discern how we will support Nahom and keep these two brothers connected.

V - Memorable Happenings

1. A couple days after we returning from Ethiopia, we were sitting at the table finishing up supper. My sister Aundrea and her husband Michael were with us. Yabi was sitting on my lap and we were all talking. I looked down at Yabi and he had a piece of napkin rolled up and sticking out of his nose. He wasn’t saying anything, just looking around waiting for us to see him. When we saw him of course we couldn’t help but laugh. Then, he pulled the napkin out of his nose and threw it landing in the salsa. Since he had not seen any of us do this trick, we think he must have learned this from his buddies at the orphanage.

2. Over the holidays my mom gave me a wooden statue of a woman praying. It was given to her as a gift from Kenya and as a child I have vivid memories of dusting her weekly. I placed this woman on a table in our living room. One day, while playing on the couch, Yabi knocked her over. I picked her up and explained to him how special she was and then placed my hands, like hers, in a praying position and explained to him what she was doing. That evening at supper before we ate I mentioned the woman praying and clasped my hands to pray. Ever since then, at meal time, he prays with his hands folded and he always wants to say the last prayer. We have no idea what he is saying but after he is finished, we all say amen and he is all smiles. If he doesn’t get the last prayer, Yabi is not a happy boy. J

IV - Yabi's Likes and Dislikes

Likes first…
~Likes the door closed when in the bathroom!! We are very thankful that he is potty trained!!
~Likes to eat soap. The kind of soap does not matter…foamy dish soap, foaming hand washing soap or bath bubbles.
~Likes to have his blanket tucked up under him while rocking in the rocking chair and reading stories in preparation for nap time. This is a daily routine and when the stories are finished, he cuddles up, closes his eyes, and falls asleep.
~Likes to have plain cooked oatmeal for breakfast with brown sugar and milk. This is also one of Eric’s daily favorites so Eric is the oatmeal maker.
~LOVES to take baths and swim in the tub.
~LOVES to play “come and get me” which he refers to as “engaloti”. If he is being chased or playing hide-and-go-seek, he is in his glory.
~LOVES to be tickled, cuddled and held.
~LOVES to laugh, smile and clown around!! He is a very silly boy!



Dislikes…
~Dislikes when Eric feeds the chickens and rabbits without him.
~Dislikes cats in his bed. One afternoon, before nap time, Yabi saw Mango, the cat, under the bed. He tried to get him out with a coat hanger. I reassured Yabi that it was ok and that I would get him out. Well, I forgot and while, Yabi was sleeping, Mango jumped on his bed to nap with him. Needless to say, Yabi woke up and screamed until Eric saved him from that big old cat.
~Dislikes when his family tries to help him with things he can do “by himself”!! This would include - toileting needs, tooth brushing, feeding himself, etc…Remember…he is a 2 year old and he lets us know if he is not happy. Yes, he also has been known to have 2 year old tantrums.
~Dislikes his own toothbrush but always tries to use Hannah’s.

III - Big Sister and Brother

Seth and Hannah have rolled with the transitions and we are very proud of them. Upon Seth and Hannah’s return to school, Yabi and I would walk them to school in the morning, although the walk home was not so fun because Yabi was not interested in returning with mom, he wanted to stay with Seth and Hannah. In the afternoon, around the time that Seth and Hannah are due home, Yabi often waits at the front door. When he gets sight of Seth and Hannah he will let me know he wants the front door opened and then he slowly descends the steps and takes off down the side walk with open arms and at full speed ahead.

Yabi loves being with Seth and Hannah and they have become quite protective of their little brother but the novelty has worn off and as all older siblings realize, little brothers like their stuff which is not always a welcome situation.
Hannah has been the one who appears to be affected the most. At times, if Yabi sees me holding or giving attention to Hannah, he may come running crying and try to get her off my lap or divert my attention. Hannah, who doesn’t like to hear Yabi cry, will quickly move out of the way. Several weeks ago, when I was tucking her into bed, she had some tears and said, “Having two brothers is hard.” All this said, she is wonderful with Yabi and she and Seth often get into a tiff about who is going to take care of him or play with him. It is heart warming to see them being so gentle and compassionate with little Yabi.

II - Where am I and what am I doing here?

Basically, Yabi was plopped into this new setting and then expected to adjust. These are some of the things that have been interesting to observe.
1) Coats, mittens, hats and SNOW…Well, Yabi seems to LOVE the snow. When walking in from the car, he always gets sidetracked picking up snow and eating it. Hi new line is “BURR…it’s cold”. Usually, when he sees someone bundling up to go out he reminds us that he also wants to go out. Remember, he is from a tropical climate and we have had several days of below 0 wind chill.

2) Cats in the house…We have 2 big cats who we call Mango and Snicker. We knew we may have a problem because one day in Ethiopia we went to a store and outside the store was a baby kitten tied to a string that was attached to the building. He wanted to stay as far away from that little kitten as possible. During the first few days at home, we tried to keep our cats out of sight because Yabi reacted so strongly. Little by little, we exposed him to them and as of Sunday, January 21, 2007, he petted Mango and carried on a conversation with him. Again, I have no idea what he said but it was clearly a conversation equipped with vocal, facial, and body expression. Now, he still does not like the cats under the table at meal times but he appears to have befriended Mango and Snicker.














3) Sitting in a car seat…After several trips of screaming and kicking the whole way, he calmed down and cried for only half the ride. The other day before leaving for piano lessons, I prepared the kids that he may cry for the 20 minute ride. Well, he cried for 5 minutes and then decided he liked looking for cows and horses on the way. The return ride was successful and when we arrived at our house after lessons, I took him out of the seat and placed him on the sidewalk where he proceeded to have a crying fit because he was not ready to stop this journey.

4) Men with beards…We think he likes bearded men but he always has to touch the beard and then has something to say with interesting motions and expressions.

5) Ceiling fans…He is quite interested in watching the ceiling fans at church and at the recreational fitness center. Usually he watches momentarily and then his hands and arms start a circling motion.

6) FOOD, FOOD, FOOD...Yabi loves to eat!! We are amazed at how he has accepted “our way of eating”. So far, we have not found many things that he doesn’t like. The things he protests includes…cooked oatmeal with peaches, black olives, ham sandwiches and lettuce. Most everything else appears to be fair game and the more the better. We don’t know where all the food that he eats goes. Some of his favorites are plain cooked oatmeal with brown sugar and milk, hard boiled eggs, spaghetti or pasta, pretzels, and cake. He has also become a fan of chocolate chip cookies!! We have noticed that when Yabi is close to being finished with his bowl of food, he finishes off his meal by pouring his water or milk into his bowl to create a yummy soup. He usually stirs it up, takes a few bites and then lets us know he is finished.

I - Kim's Reflections

As of today, February 17, we have had Yabsira, in a physical sense, for about 7 weeks. The flood of emotions and feelings that consumed my mind and heart during the initial weeks limited my ability to express my thoughts in writing because I needed to be fully present in the present, while taking in the array of feelings and emotions that expanded the emotional spectrum. I am thankful that within the last number of weeks, I have found a sense of peace and thankfulness for the “process” and my thoughts are ready to be articulated in writing.

Yabi is a beautiful little boy who is full of energy and life. He appears to be verbal in Amharic and is extremely expressive when communicating. He speaks with excitement and passion using exaggerated facial features and his whole body to express his view point. We only wish we could understand more of what he is saying. He also communicates through his big brown eyes. (You know they say that your eyes are a window into your soul) For the last 7 weeks, we have watched Yabi transition into a new way of life…new family, culture, climate, culinary diet, language, home, bed, etc…and for a 2 ½ year old, he has been extremely flexible and gracious! Through all his changes, he appears to be happy and joyful. He is a little clown and loves to perform!! He is extremely ticklish and loves to engage in physical play while also enjoying time just sitting and working on puzzles, exploring toys, and reading books.

Before we ever knew our little Yabi, I prayed for a child who would like to cuddle and like to be held. Well, I’m not sure one could have a child who likes to cuddle and be held more than Yabi. He is so affectionate and loves to give hugs and kisses. The other night (he was in bed with me) he woke up in the middle of the night, tossed his arm up around my neck, gave me two kisses on the cheek and went right back to sleep. A couple weeks ago at church, he gave out at least 15 hugs and kisses. At the orphanage, we noticed that staff seemed to love this little guy and they would greet him with hugs and kisses and he would reciprocate. Yabi’s aunt who cared for him for about two years and his extended family also showered him with hugs and kisses when we visited their village. We are thankful for those who have loved him and treated him with care.

We are very thankful for the way that Yabi appears to have accepted us as his own. He readily calls Eric ababa (daddy) and me amaye (mom) and within the last several weeks often refers to us as mommy and daddy in English. Upon our return, he became a mama’s boy and liked to stay close but is now venturing out and eagerly plays with anyone who is willing to chase him or find him after he hides.

Jan. 10 - Back Home in Goshen, IN

It's been quite a trip and now we're settling back into our home again, tired from it all and the jet lag, as you may notice in the picture below. Yabi has been great with the transitions and has been happy and playful most of the time. Today some of the high appears to be wearing off and he has been more fussy at times, like we might expect. He jabbers in Amharic and we occasionally understand a word. We have a very limited Amharic vocabulary of the essentials, but I'm sure Yabi will pick up English quickly. He likes to repeat words that we say and is already talking on the phone. So, if you call, you might expect to hear a "hello", followed by some Amharic jibberish, and then a "good-bye".

We've enjoyed sharing this journey with you, and look forward to sharing more.
Eric, Kim, Seth, Hannah, Yabsira

Jan. 6-9 - More Sights around Addis

We spent the remaining days seeing more of Addis, relaxing, visiting, and getting to know Yabi. On Saturday, we made a trip to Intoto Mountain, just north of Addis, at an elevation of approximately 10,500 feet. Addis sits at about 8,000 feet. Intoto was the first capital of Ethiopia. It was a hazy day so we didn't have a good view of the city, but enjoyed the abundant sunshine, a bit of hiking and observing the activity. Women and donkeys are seen carrying large loads down the mountain. Goats routinely block the road, even in the busy city streets.

We had the opportunity to have lunch with the Mennonite Central Committe country reps on Sunday, and enjoyed the visit, as did Seth and Hannah since they had children of similar ages. On Monday, we did some shopping at the Mercato, an large open air market. Tuesday was packing, saying goodbyes at the orphanage, and boarding our plane at around 11:30 pm, back to Washington-Dulles. Yabi traveled great, probably better than the rest of us, and we arrived back at our home at 7:30 pm on Wednesday, January 10.

We enjoyed our introduction to Ethiopia and the friendly, beautiful Ethiopian people. We anticipate return trips at some point in the future to allow us to stay connected to Yabsira's brother, Nahom, and to Ethiopia in general.

Jan. 5 - Visit to Yabsira's Home

A visit to Yabsira's home was arranged by the adoption agency. We were accompanied by the Ethiopian social worker, Miriam, to the town of Debre Zeit, about 45 minutes from Addis. Miriam speaks good English and provided the necessary translation. Yabsira's brother, Nahom, also came along. We first met the aunt who had cared for Yabsira and Nahom at the office of a small NGO where the aunt had taken the two boys.

We found out more details of Yabsira's early years. His mother passed away when he was 6 months old of an unknown illness and the whereabouts of the father are unknown. The mother's sister, who had been working as a maid in Addis, returned to Debre Zeit to care for Yabsira and Nahom for about 2 years, until she felt like she could no longer do this and delivered them to the orphanage.

The aunt had been renting a room in the compound owned by another lady, who was also considered part of the family. We went to this compound and were met by two other aunts, sisters of Yabi's mother, along with cousins, neighbors, grandparents, etc. We saw the small room that the aunt was renting in the compound. We had tea and bread. We looked at a photo album that the aunt had with pictures of Yabi, including his first birthday. It was a special time of getting to know his extended birth family at least a little, to see his home for the first 2 years of his life, to meet the people who loved him, held him and played with him. We were impressed with the community and sense of care from so many that is so common in African culture. We hope for Yabi to experience this extended family and community care back in the states, also.

The aunt's decision to give them up was obviously a difficult one, but she felt like she or the others did not have the resources to provide for their needs. Her desire is that Yabi become a good citizen and be loved and cared for.

Birth grandmother and adoptive grandmother were present. Birth aunts and an adoptive aunt were present. It was so many feelings at the same time - gratitude, awkwardness, sadness, doubt, certainty, and a feeling of embarking on the unknown. Yabsira means "God's work", and for us this is appropriate and a fitting reminder to be open to seeing how God's work unfolds in our lives as Yabsira becomes a part of our family.

Jan. 4 - Sightseeing in Addis

Today was a great day with Yabsira and he wanted to stick to Kim even when we were back at the orphanage. He hung with us all day and we did our first day of sightseeing. Tonight, he fell asleep with a pen and notepad in his hand on the couch without any fussing. Seth and Hannah are both enthralled with Yabi and argue over who can sit by him, hold him, etc. We received his visa from the U.S. embassy so he can officially travel home with us on Jan. 9.

We had met an Ethiopian student from Goshen College, Dawit, before traveling. He gave us his friends phone number in Addis, so we made contact with Mesfin when we arrived. Mesfin graciously offered to show us around Addis on Thursday afternoon, and acted as a great tour guide as we visited two museums, seeing the bones of "Lucy", the throne of the King Haile Salasse, among other interesting historic and cultural treasures, visited the Ethiopian Orthodox church built by Haile Salasse, did some souvenir window shopping, and ending with a lovely Ethiopian meal with traditional dancing. Pretty amazing. We’ve been eating great food, by the way.